


Sun's Daughter, Thunder Child

by InannaOfTheMoon



Series: Nature's Way [1]
Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: But mostly fluff, Coming Out, F/F, Finding home, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Found Families, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Smut, introspective
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-15
Updated: 2019-02-15
Packaged: 2019-10-28 18:38:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17792627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InannaOfTheMoon/pseuds/InannaOfTheMoon
Summary: She remembered how confusion struck her like lightning bolt as intense as the brand-new set of feelings she never knew she had. Her mind waved flags - red, like her hair falling down her shoulders like a sun's daughter probably would have if cosmic bodies had offspring as it was told in old origin myths.(W/ Illustrations)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a slight AU, in the sense cases are mentioned in a different order / I mention investigations that happens when Casey is already gone.
> 
> Cover art and illustrations inside all made by me.

 

* * *

  _“The Sun's Daughter,_  
_You've been made_  
_Not to fade_  
_Quite inconceivable”_  
(“The Garden of Everything” - Steve Conte & Maaya Sakamoto) 

* * *

 _“Oh, there is thunder in our hearts.”_  
(“Running Up That Hill” - Kate Bush) 

* * *

 _”She brings me flowers to ease the pain,  
__She brings me light where only darkness reigns”_  
(“Crescent” - Dead Can Dance) 

* * *

 

Getting to her apartment at the end of a day always seemed like an eternity for her, but that evening in special it felt like a journey to the other side of the country. 

Not because places were full or traffic was exceptionally bad that day, she just felt like her head weighted a million pounds with all the thoughts of the world crammed inside her skull. Most of it regarding the current case as it would always be as long as she was alive and a cop. 

However, the impact all of those things on her mind kind of paled in comparison to that single wisp of thought that had been flickering in the back of her mind for the longest time already. Longer than she wanted to admit. There was also the fact she felt like an asshole for what she had done earlier, but that was an entirely separate issue. 

She quickly ate the leftover from the take-out she had the night before just to put something in her stomach, showered and laid down in bed. However, as tired as she was, she couldn't sleep for the life of her. She tossed and turned like a restless cat for over an hour before kicking the blankets away from her in frustration and simply getting up and going to the living room. 

She had called it a night at work exceptionally soon that day, Cragen _hinting_ she should go home because she looked like a zombie and her mind obviously being away from her work having a lot to do with it. So it wasn't long until she was laid again, this time in her sofa, lights out and sound on at the first radio station she had found. A full philharmonic played some epic classic tune - she was never one for classical music to be honest, but it seemed good enough for her at that moment. The organized chaos of the sound being some background noise and maybe it would distract herself a little from her own mind and mistakes. 

Needless to say she was unsuccessful. 

The wisp of thought between her ears was insistent and loud among the others - it was like an obnoxious bug trying to bite her at all costs, small but always reminding her it's there by buzzing right in front of her face. The subject was far from looking like a small, irritating bug, however. 

It was far, far from that.

She always thought of when it all apparently had started, which she could pinpoint as if she was seeing a movie unroll right before her eyes. 

She was not expecting it at all. But only because she was caught by surprise, it didn't mean it was less than real. 

Only because she wasn't expecting it to ever happen to her, it didn't mean that, many months prior, she hadn't seen Casey Novak walk into the precinct like she had done a million times before; dressed all in black attire and coat waving behind her like a rebellion flag, she came towards her desk and smiled a good morning. 

The fact she was caught by surprise definitely wouldn't change that, from that moment on, something had drastically changed inside Olivia. 

It was her time to wave flags too, inside her mind - red, like Casey's hair falling down her shoulders like a sun's daughter probably would have if cosmic bodies had offspring as it was told in old origin myths. 

Olivia remembered how confusion struck her like lightning bolt as intense as the brand-new set of feelings she never knew she had. She could hear the distant thunder that followed, again and again as her heart pumped it up inside her ears. It was that same lightning-bolt confusion and other kinds of self-preservation shields that later, made her come up with all the excuses ever created by humankind, denying the summer storm that had just began inside of her at the mere sight of Casey Novak. 

Casey rested her briefcase on her desk, smiling at her. And like a child from starry gods would probably do in modern times, she quoted the first line from _Space Oddity_ at Olivia's distraction _._ The detective's absence of mind was obvious without her reply, and stare without blinking. She apologized to Casey, blaming it on the work's ability of keeping her from sleeping well. At the present moment, Liv thought of the irony. 

Casey had answered her with a concerned squeeze on her shoulder, and the gesture seemed like it was still painted onto her flesh. She remembered how she had looked down to hide the thunder inside her becoming crimson on her face and she felt embarrassed on her own high-schooler reaction to all of that. 

It didn't get any easier or more subtle after that day. 

It took her a ridiculous amount of time since that event - months, actually - to realize why she had never actually felt like that with any guy she ever dated. She had liked (some) of them, that was a fact, but she barely remembered when she had such a reaction before that. 

Or _at all_ , to begin with. 

After months letting everything slowly sink in, it was actually pretty evident why she seemed incapable of setting with any man, or why she felt so… out of place with them when it came to be about her emotional side. Sex with them was fun, there was no doubt about that, but such affinities with men ended there, and it was so goddamn obvious why now. 

On the other hand, everything was so much easier with Casey - to open up about her untold memories, to be herself as someone who had lived through some pretty rough patches, or to be someone who just wanted to be affectionate and even silly sometimes. 

Casey knew things about Olivia and her past not even Elliot did. The best example was telling the ADA about that one time as a kid in which she had to literally fight her mother back in order to survive, how it wasn't as hard as she thought it would be, or as hard as if she had to tell Elliot. The devastated, outraged expression on Casey's face when she told her all of that would be one hard to forget. 

What followed that one day, when she had seen Casey under that prism for the first time, was the same summer storm feeling, repeating over and over like the notes she heard on the music she was absent-mindedly listening to. 

Every little detail was magnified and she started to notice everything - the way the ADA would walk through court corridors, proud and shiny like she was heading for a swords-and-horses type of battle, the way she squinted spring-colored eyes when the case developed in ways she wasn't expecting; the way she also parted her lips in surprise whenever that happened was being particularly harder _not_ to notice. The way her voice got a little huskier when she had a drink or two with her after work. How she would stand straight and tall and disarmingly beautiful like she _was_ an actual cosmic body's offspring came from old stories, or how a cloud of subtle flowery scent would take over everytime she stood close do Olivia; how Casey's eyes would squint not due to surprise but because she was laughing openly, something that was awfully rare to see in their daily lives. Really paying attention to the sweet dimples she had when she did that was probably one of her favorite things. 

The philharmonic ended the suite and was replaced by some piano sonata - the detective only knowing it was called like that thanks to the radio host mentioning it before the song had started. 

She rubbed her face in a gesture that actually mingled many feelings together. 

The myriad of excuses inside her head had almost convinced her that the way she saw Casey had abruptly changed without any warning, as if one day she had just woken up suddenly having the hots for her friend. It certainly seemed like it at a first glance, but she was a detective. She knew it wasn't like that at all. 

In fact, she did notice Casey way before that, probably since the first investigation they had worked together. 

Casey's sharp intelligence and determination, even if sometimes mishandled, kind of fascinated her right from the start. Of course, she had to be an idiot towards her at first - if she wasn’t unnecessarily rude towards people from time to time she would be called Huang and not Benson.

Later on the case, seeing how compassionate and sensitive Casey Novak was behind her harsh actions made Olivia notice and like her even more. Her friendship with the ADA just grew from there, and now she knew there was also other kinds of feelings blooming ever since. 

But she was so deep in denial that her subconscious had to really bring it to the surface, circling and underlining Casey with imaginary neon-colored markers that day, point at her, and basically scream her name so Olivia would _finally_ see the real nature of her feelings towards her dear friend. It was weird how she felt she was way too old to feel so lost and confused like that “ _over a crush_ ”, but her logical side said that she had all the reasons in the world to be feeling the way she was. 

She recognized fear she was she saw it. 

Fear of discrimination, of rejection from people she loved, the fear of losing Casey's presence and friendship in her life if she ever find out about Olivia's feelings for her. Fear too, had many different colors and shapes, she had just learned lately. But so did love. 

Everything about how she felt towards Casey was unexplored territory, and as such it was being slow and confusing for the detective to figure things out. It didn't took _that_ much however, to realize that what she  was feeling was far from being just some curiosity attraction. She would even prefer it was only that, really. It would be a lot easier to solve and to deal with. But Casey was basically a magnet in all senses and it just had to be complicated and terrifying. 

 _It wouldn't be me if it wasn't complicated and terrifying as hell, right?,_ she scoffed to herself. She felt her eyes burn as she contemplated the light stripes from the street against her dark ceiling, her fingers slowly playing with a lock of her hair, elbow up against the sofa. 

She felt another sharp sting of embarrassment, telling herself to get her shit together, that she was being childish, followed by the sting of confusion and the sting of fear again. It had become a cycle, and she was afraid people were already noticing it. Elliot for sure had, being the closest to her at the precinct, he would feel her mood shifts like he was a humor barometer.

She wasn't that hard to read, though. She _was_ a bad liar. 

Which meant that Casey too, had noticed that something was off. Liv tried her best to be professional and just follow the investigation work, sometimes a little _too much._ Especially in the last couple of months, she knew she was passing off as cold and distant to her friend, and that was probably the worst, most unfair way to deal with her situation but she couldn't avoid the behavior. It was one of her oldest tricks whenever she felt she was getting too emotionally close to someone. 

Olivia was cornered, and she knew that. There was no way to win, really. _I guess_ , she thought to herself, _it's only a matter of which option will hurt less._ Which one would hurt her more, that was easy to tell. But which one would hurt _Casey_ less? Whatever one that was, she would take it without thinking twice. 

The classical music colored her dark living room, and she sat up, leaning forward with her elbows on her knees and hands pressed together, her mind deeper and deeper in her doubts and fears and affections. 

She was only procrastinating a decision. 

That wasn't the first time she thought about the weight of her actions and their consequences regarding that subject. She knew perfectly well that she was thinking about all of that because earlier that day Olivia had been particularly cold-bordering-nasty to Casey when discussing the case, and guilt was consuming her alive. 

She knew Casey was probably aware something was off because in that afternoon, the expression the ADA had after Olivia's rude attitude looked like she would kill someone, when it in fact hid extreme disappointment and Liv knew her all too well not to notice it. After staring at her, hurt and angry, Casey turned around and left the precinct without a word, the crossed expression normally reserved for lost cases and absolved perps still on. 

Going so low to that kind of level surprised even Olivia herself, in the worst way possible. 

The detective was slow to process her feelings and she felt like she had the Midas’ touch to spoil everything she ever cared for - the embodiment of a perfect storm -, but she still had her sense of justice and heart above everything. The classical music was still playing around her when she made her decision, and stood up to change.


	2. Chapter 2

Olivia headed straight to the ADA's office, everyone knew Casey practically lived there, and that night it was no different. Showing her badge at the front desk, Olivia went straight up and softly knocked.

“Come in.”, Casey said on the other side.

The detective came in and closed the door behind her, finding the ADA with her sleeves folded up, buried in paperwork. It took a couple of seconds before she looked up, noticing her visitor hasn’t said a word. Casey's focused expression became a frown at Olivia's figure standing in front of her.

“Can I help you, detective?”, she asked in the most aloof-professional voice ever, her eyes and attention going right away back to her work.

Olivia could take forever to process feelings and everything, but once she had made up her mind, she wouldn't waste time beating around the bush.

“I came to apologize.”

Casey's pen stopped right away and she looked back at Olivia, the almost distaste expression she had just seconds before now completely dissolved. She looked at her friend with full attention.

“I was an idiot. I… I shouldn't have mentioned Charlie like that in front of everyone, I had no right to do that. And I shouldn’t have thrown my own shit at you like that. I'm _really_ _sorry_ , Casey.” Olivia faced her friend with steady eyes, making her apology even more sincere.

Casey stood up, walked around her desk and leaned against its front, hands holding the edges. She wasn't that taller than Liv, but she still felt oddly dwarfed next to Casey - it was normally the other way around since Olivia was a kid, always taller than all the other girls at school.

“Apologies accepted. I know you are stubborn and even reckless sometimes, but you are not _mean_. Everyone noticed you’ve been different lately. What the hell is going on with you, Liv?”

Her voice was low and calm, the remaining hurt caused by Olivia's words earlier being replaced by concern. Nonetheless, Olivia's determination was slightly chipped around the borders by the question she was dreading to hear. She didn't answer, and Casey's concerned look deepened as she stepped closer.

“You're scaring me, Liv. Are you okay?”

Once having her mind set, Olivia _really_ didn't beat around the bush.

“I have feelings for you, Casey.” the way she looked into her friend's spring-colored eyes made it very clear exactly what kind of feelings she was talking about.

If Olivia wasn't so deadly-worried about what the course of her actions would lead her life to, she would have chuckled over the sight of the pale face of the most feared ADA she have ever met turn so red even her ears were bright like traffic lights at night.

The detective did smile a little though, when it was Casey's turn to be completely out of words.

“Weren't expecting that, were you?”, she joked to both mask her massive anxiety and to break the ice a bit.

“Hm. No. Not really.” she let out a little nervous laugh. “But it makes sense, I mean. Why lately you've been kind of…”

“An asshole?”

“I was going to say absent-minded and closed, but that works too.”

The tension was still taking over Olivia's body, but the mere exchange of words after her revelation had helped her tremendously already. She reminded herself to breath, deeply.

“I'm sorry for just throwing that on you like that. It's… it's being really painful, and hard for me to keep this hm... _situation..._ to myself.”

She shifted her weight from one foot to the other, looking down to her hands.

“Damnit, you are my best friend, Casey. I was… I _am_ scared to death you would hate me for this, scared of losing you if I said anything. But I figured I'd lose you no matter what if I kept pushing you away like that. And if that really happens... if you do go away, I at least want it to be because I was honest with you. You deserve that.”

When she looked up back to Casey, it was just in time to see her friend stepping right into her personal space area and wrapping her arms tightly around Olivia's shoulders.

“Listen.” she said softly, her lips so close to Olivia's ear she felt the summer storm thundering inside her immediately, goosebumps all over her skin. “ _Don't you_ _dare_ think I'd ever hate you, Liv. I wouldn't be capable of hating you, even if I wanted to. And I’ll _never_ want to. Specially for that.”

The storm dwelling inside Olivia began to pour outside her, making her eyes burn. The surprise of Casey's close embrace and tender words made her forget to retribute her gesture.

She lifted her arms and wrapped them around her beloved friend’s waist. Olivia wasn’t used to being that close to her - or to anyone else for that matter -, but she wasn’t disliking it at all. She seized the embrace, memorizing Casey's warmth and the flowery, garden scent she brought everywhere with her.

“Thank you.”, Olivia replied with a voice slightly broken by emotion.

“Thank you for telling me. I am sorry you felt so scared about it.”, Casey said, resting the side of her face against Liv's.

“I still am, to be honest.”

“One day at a time, Liv.”

“I mean about you.”

Casey broke the embrace, but didn't step too far away from her friend, looking at her.

“I mean if, hm... If you want to, you know, maybe we could try... venturing down this path?”, Olivia asked as she wiped away a tear that had rolled down her cheek, uncertainty plaguing her tone.

Casey bit her lower lip, thoughtful.

 _Oh please, don't do that to me right now_ , Olivia thought, both about her friend's serious, reflective demeanor and the way her gesture brought all of Liv's attention straight to her lips. She probably stared at them a second or two more than she should have, because she saw a new wave of flush coming back up to Casey's cheeks.

 _God, she’s cute_.

“You see Liv, I've never dated women before, either.” before Olivia could even start to feel anything about her answer, Casey continued. ”But it's never too late for a first time, I guess.”

Olivia just froze in place, like a soon-to-be roadkill under headlights.

“Did you just say ‘yes’?”

“I am pretty sure I did.”

Used to things always going the weirdest directions in her life, Olivia wasn't sure on how to react when the weird turn was actually _a good kind of weird turn_. The weight of the world seemed to be out of her shoulders with the light atmosphere between them. Especially when Casey’s clear laugh filled the office.

“I wish you could see your face right now.”

“I'm sure my ‘middle-schooler with a crush’ face must be very entertaining.”, Olivia said, relaxing a bit more. “I'm, hm… not really sure how to handle this.”

Casey shrugged a little in a playful way, showing she didn't, either.

“We could always start from familiar grounds.’ she suggested before looking at the clock on her wall and turning back at Liv. “I'll call it a night here. Wanna grab a drink and dinner with me?”

Olivia could not contain the smile, her brow raised.

“If I knew you would ask me out on a date right away, I'd have told you way earlier.”

“ _Did you just say ‘yes’_?”, Casey repeated Liv's earlier question in a dramatic way, a mischievous smile and look at her friend as she gathered her things and prepared to leave.

“Are you always this funny when asking people out?”, Olivia answered her question with another question, the same side-smile on her face.

They were usually at ease around each other, and they did have the habit of throwing small jokes between them, but that layer of teasing was certainly new. Both were aware they were hiding how nervous they were underneath all the bantering, but that was good. It was more like anticipation.

Holding her things with one hand and her coat already on, Casey stepped closer to Olivia again.

“Just when I feel comfortable around the person I'm asking.”, she finally answered. Her voice was gentle, just like the little dimpled-smile she directed at Liv.

 _Goddamnit, Casey. Stop doing this,_ she thought as her attention was again drawn to the ADA's lips, at the same time she really didn't want her to stop. There was a small pause between them and Casey’s expression was a thoughtful one again for a second, as if she was making a decision.

“You know… I will say ‘yes’ to that too, if you ask.” Casey said softly, looking right into Liv’s eyes, as if answering what she had just thought.

Olivia had more butterflies in her stomach, flying under that summer storm at full power inside of her, than stars shimmering in the sky.

She had no need of words to ask.

Not taking her eyes away from Casey's, she covered the small distance between them with one single step. Her hands lifted towards her friend's face, light and slow like clouds and resting against her skin, just as lightly.

Casey's expression was serious - Olivia could tell she was nervous. But even with her serious demeanor, her eyes were inviting Liv to go on. She rested her free hand over Olivia's arm, and the detective finally covered the last distance between them, lifting herself just a little on her toes so she could reach Casey's lips with hers.

Thunder and lightning inside her grew louder, and even if Casey wasn't some mythology entity's daughter, she certainly felt like one when they kissed - she was warm and powerful and gentle and sweet all together when she retributed Olivia's touch.

It was a fairly chaste kiss at first as they were testing unknown waters, but they liked the feeling it caused, like ripples on water’s surface getting stronger and stronger. They went deeper into it. Casey’s free hand gently pulled Liv closer to her body and she felt Olivia answer with her arm around her shoulder, her other hand still caressing the ADA’s cheek.

That was a strange land for both of them, but they felt they were going towards the right direction. Way too soon, they pulled away from the kiss, but still holding each other, their faces still warm with red.

“That was one hell of a ‘yes’.”, Olivia said.

“I never agree with anything half-heartedly.”, Casey answered with a tender smile. Wanting to keep things in motion before it got awkward, she added “I hope you still want do have dinner, because frankly I'm digesting myself here already.”

“Whenever you let me go, counselor”. Olivia made no move herself, however.

She chuckled softly and let go of Liv's waist.

They went towards the door, and left the office, walking to one of the places nearby they usually went to have a drink and eat something after work hours.

Even though they shared that one kiss already - something Liv was more than eager to do for the longest time ever, she admitted -, they silently agreed to stuck to the plan of carrying things slowly. They had to keep testing the waters and try to get used to the idea of thinking of themselves not only as _friends_ , but also as _people dating each other_. It was probably the best course of action.

The dinner with Casey went by smoothly - much more satisfying to Liv than the leftover she had earlier. It wasn’t different at all from previous “just-friends” dates, and that actually turned Olivia’s heart as light as a leaf in the wind for good. She was afraid everything would drastically change between Casey and her at the moment Liv spoke about her feelings, and seeing that it was far from the truth left a good aftertaste on her.

On the way back, Olivia wanted to be a bit more with her and offered to accompany her home, which Casey accepted. In front of her building, she turned to Liv.

“Thanks again for, you know, telling. I’m really happy you did. And proud you had the courage to.”

“I’m glad, too. More than anything.”, she smiled, feeling all warm inside by Casey’s support.

Liv’s sentence was then followed by an awkward silence between the women, a setting atmosphere that clearly said “ _what exactly are we supposed to do now?”_. Olivia tucked a piece of hair behind her right ear. They looked at each other for a moment, and just laughed, clearly shy.

“I’m also glad to know I am not the only confused middle-schooler present, it makes me feel a bit better”, Olivia said, playfully.

“Yes. This is gonna be something.” Casey answered. She then kissed Olivia’s cheek, leaning back with one of those mischievous smiles the detective just recently had discovered about. “Thanks for ‘the lift’, Liv.”

 _Goddamnit, Casey._ , she thought with a wild blush partially hidden by the darkness.

“You’re welcome, Casey.” she answered out loud, her voice with a small tremble in it, giving her blush away. With a final amused look at Olivia, Casey chuckled as if saying “ _oh, you”,_ and turned to climb the stairs in front of her building.

From her spot, Liv watched her go - something she actually quite enjoyed doing - and saw her go into her building.

Olivia just covered her face with her hands for a moment, overwhelmed by that entire rollercoaster of a day, but especially at the real-life plot twist that had just happened to her: from being a total jackass to the friend she had been nurturing feelings for almost a year already, being miserable and absent-minded all day to actually telling Casey about her feelings _and_ kissing her _and_ (kinda) going on a date.

She didn’t want to jinx it, but she did feel lucky as hell to get such an outcome to that conversation she was dreading to have so much for months.

Turning around, she walked away feeling a warm anticipation she hadn’t felt for the longest time.

 

* * *

 

As Casey went up the stairs to her apartment, she took advantage no one was looking to hold what probably was the dumbest smile ever. That was _definitely_ not how she was expecting her night to end - on an almost-date with Olivia Benson.

It was the truth when she told Liv that she had never dated girls before, and exactly because of that it was strange to her when she felt really compelled to accept Liv’s idea of trying out. A good kind of strange, like a trip to a foreign country you’ve never been before, you feel scared and anxiety is almost always present, but it all mingles in anticipation and excitement.

The way the detective was behaving the past months had really intrigued her, but part of her somehow already knew the reasons behind Liv’s erratic behavior and cold demeanor towards her.

She never caught her staring or anything, it really was the way she looked at her when they talked. Or the times when her cold attitude disappeared for a moment and she would just show up in her office to eat after work, or brought her stuff so they could eat together over the mountains of paper Casey couldn’t leave, not even to eat, but Liv wouldn’t let her skip the meal.

Casey took her keys out and opened her apartment’s door. It was no news to her how comfortable the detective seemed to be with her and vice-versa, but after all the bantering earlier she realized how _really comfortable_ she was around Liv too, much more than she thought at first.

She crossed her door and closed it quickly, feeling something warm and soft rubbing against her legs right away.

“Hey, sweetie. How was your day?” she said, leaving the briefcase on the little table by her door and leaning forward to pick up the huge Maine Coon-mix in her arms. The cat purred happily against her. “Let’s get your dinner.”

She went to the kitchen and put some cat food inside the little green bowl and shook it, showing the pet there was food served for her.

“Come here, Flo.”, she called. She observed her for a moment before going to the living room again.

Casey still had some paperwork to check that night, and so she did since it wasn’t a lot to take care of. If the pile was really big, she would definitely just try to wake up earlier the next day to get it done. No way she would be able to focus on anything for too long at that moment.

An hour or so later, already in bed with Florence curled lazily next to her, she looked at her ceiling and thought about that night for the millionth time already, still on the excitement rush running through her veins.

She remembered the kiss again.

It was the first time she had really caught Olivia staring - at her lips, at least three times during their conversation. Casey remembered feeling like entire planet systems were spinning in her stomach when she realized she actually wanted it, too. That’s why she decided to let Liv kiss her, even after just saying they should start slowly.

Olivia’s confession seemed to have opened a gate inside the ADA. She still couldn’t put her feelings in order at all since everything was so fresh. Liv had joked about them behaving like kids and that’s exactly what they were, feelings-wise.

The situation was entirely new to her, and apparently to Olivia as well. Casey had dated a few guys before she started a relationship with Charlie - one relationship that really wasn’t meant to be. She was aware of that more than anything, but she would never regret she had let him into her life. Even though it ended the way it ended. She quickly brushed Charlie away from her mind, not wanting to taint the moment with the melancholy the memory of him would bring.

After him, she dated some men here and there - including Detective Lake - but none of these experiences then seemed to be comparable with what was going on now.

Not only because Casey had zero experiences with women, and Liv was one. In fact, Casey was genuinely surprised on how that wasn’t an issue at all to her. As much as she had never seen herself with women before, it just… felt like the right thing to do now...? She really didn’t know.

Once more, the ADA couldn’t explain what seemed to be galaxies full of feelings exploding in her heart that night. However, it was clear to her that the situation wasn't alike any previous experiences because Liv had been her friend for years and now they would add other layers to that friendship.

Casey felt her face warm up.

She hadn’t thought of Liv like that before, but she had to admit she wasn’t blind, either - she had always noticed how Olivia’s powerful intelligence went so well with her witty personality, all behind features she was finding oddly hard to describe now that she was actually trying to do it. Calling Olivia _pretty_ or _beautiful_ or _gorgeous_ felt out of place for some reason. Not because Liv wasn’t those things - quite the opposite, really -, but because any of them would describe her accurately.

It was more like raw, compelling electricity around her presence when she entered a room, as if she was a thunder child, powerful and fearless. A lioness-like strength that was capable of chasing, knocking and holding down men twice her size and weight without hesitation. Casey had seen Olivia doing that a couple of times and she had always found that very impressive.

Even if she hadn’t thought of her under that new perspective before, it was more than evident to her that it was really hard _not_ to notice Olivia.

 

 

The ADA took a long breath.  
  
_One day at a time,_ Casey said to herself before turning to her side and closing her eyes. Her mind was spinning with a million thoughts at the same time but she at least had to try to catch some sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit: Made a painting inspired by Liv's description, so I decided to just add it here as a little bonus <3


	3. Chapter 3

On the following days, Olivia felt like she was slowly, finally returning to her older self again. Less defensive. Still a bit introspective because that was her nature, but not long hours without interacting like she had been doing on the past few months.

She knew her workmates were noticing the shift on her mood and behavior too, but they didn’t really made jokes about her looking happier or anything. Mostly because the shift was being gradual on its own. But it was being slightly held back as well because she _still_ had that little worry in the back of her mind, that her friends would find out about her rendezvous with Casey and start to treat both of them differently, even if not on purpose.

Of course she wouldn’t just stop living her life the way she wants to, simply because people could disapprove it. But she did care about her workmates a lot, and finding out they might not be as accepting as they think they are themselves would be like discovering she would have to go to work everyday by walking on coals bare feet.

She had faith that, if or when they find it out they would be completely okay with it. But her fear wasn’t less real just because of wishful thinking. She tried to think that those were worries she would have to think about in the future. Like Casey had told her, one day at a time.

And at that present moment, she had bigger fish to catch - which meant Casey and, with her, figuring out their relationship.

They were going out on their usual friend-dates for around two or three weeks already, and Liv was actually kind of grateful for taking that route. She needed to feel safe in order to make things work out, and being in familiar spaces and having usual conversations with her did help a lot with that.

She also had the distinct impression Casey was leading the pace, in a positive way. The suggestion of going slow, when she let Liv know it was okay to kiss her that night in her office, sometimes holding Liv’s hand during the dates, kissing her cheek. And by that, making Olivia know she was okay with the detective doing all those things, too.

Normally, Olivia would feel extremely intimidated - if not offended - by such behavior on her date’s part since she always dictated everything in her life according to her own will and ways. But Casey was... oddly transparent with her actions, and she knew the ADA had no ill intentions whatsoever, on the contrary.

Olivia also had the impression that Casey _probably_ had a bit more of experience on the dating field than she had herself, which explained a lot the way things were going like that.

What mattered was that she was liking it so far, and it didn’t take too long for them to want to do something less commonplace next. And that’s precisely where Olivia was heading to, going up the stairs, looking for her apartment. When she did, she rang the doorbell.

Soon, Casey was opening the door, at the same time she tried to hold a huge orange cat back with her bare foot.

“Come in before this brat goes out.”, she said, and Liv did as she was told, her mood already going upwards. Casey closed the door and headed towards Olivia, but before she could get any closer, the cat got first to Liv and started to rub around her legs.

“Oh, hello there, cutie!”, Olivia chuckled, looking at the cat as she took her coat off and hung it behind the door. She meowed at Liv, looking back at her with mellow green eyes. “You never mentioned you had a tiger pet, Casey.”

“An ADA like me needs top-notch protection, detective. Florence wants you to pick her up, the little attention-whore.” Casey said, playfully rubbing her foot against Florence’s back. “Be aware you will have cat hair up to your soul after that, though.”

“I’m okay with that.” Olivia said, picking Florence up in her arms. “Whoa girl, you’re heavy. You’re too big to be a cat and too little to be a lion.”

Casey observed as Flo purred and kneaded Liv with her paws when the detective rubbed under the cat’s chin, and how Liv was thrilled with the pet’s attention - if there was an universal truth, it was that anyone melts to animals’ love at first sight. The ADA loved seeing that relaxed, playful side of Olivia. God only knows how rare of a sight that was with their nerve-wracking work routine.

Seeing that Casey had a funny look on her face, Olivia turned to her.

“What?”  
  
“I’m just here observing as you greet my cat before me.”

“Oh, someone’s jealous.” she said.

“Can’t blame you though, that little shit is incredibly cute.”

A small pause.

“So are you.”  
  
“A little shit?”

Another pause.  
  
“A cute pussycat.” Olivia let it slip, not without a mischievous smile that soon turned into a laugh when Casey’s face looked more like a sample of the rainbow, displaying all the colors to ever exist on it. “I’m sorry, I just had to.”

“I’ll allow it.”, Casey replied as if a judge in court, which was hard to take seriously with her ears redder than a strawberry popsicle, and a small shy smile on her lips. “Now, leave the damn cat alone and come over. Dinner’s ready.”

Olivia let Florence go and followed Casey to the small kitchen, table already set. Flo followed the detective, staying close as Olivia asked where was the restroom so she could beat some of the cat fur away from her clothes and wash her hands before eating.

“Take a sit.”, Casey said when Olivia returned. Seeing Florence sitting by the detective’s feet like a miniature guardian sphinx, she added. “She loves it when people come over. Because that means a lot of ear scratches and people saying all the time how cute she is.”

“Seems like the perfect reasons to me.” Olivia answered. The night had barely started and it was already being amazing, she thought as she took her eyes from Florence at her feet and looked up to Casey, her back turned as she got the food from the oven.

Casey was always impeccably well dressed, not even a hair out of place as Fin once said, so it was interesting to see her so casual - bare feet, a pair of black sweatpants and purple tank top, the grey straps of her bra showing underneath.

Someone else would probably think Casey was _too casual_ for a date, but Olivia felt even more welcomed by it. She was seeing a side of the ADA she wouldn’t show many people. If any _at all_. The detective was also casual that night in her jeans, blouse, a leather jacket, so she really didn’t mind it.   

Casey’s hair was up in a messy ponytail, and Liv caught herself looking at the nape of her neck and bare shoulders. Before she had the time to process that, Casey turned around, a dish in her hands.

“Whoa, Casey. That looks good.”, she said, looking at the dish of pasta covered in Bechamel sauce and broccoli branches, some cheese on top.

“Family recipe - which means I got it online.”

“Isn’t that how people get anything done nowadays, though?”  
  
“Precisely.”, she said, as she put the dish on the table and went back to serve cat food in a bowl, shaking it to call Flo, who would only leave her new best friend unguarded for the sound of a meal ahead.

Casey joined Olivia at the table with a bottle of wine to go with the pasta, and dinner went by smoothly as they chatted. The food was as good as it looked. The plans for the night consisted in having dinner and hanging out, maybe watch something later but that was still open for debate. After the pasta, Casey took some ice cream from the fridge for them.

When they finished eating, Liv started to gather the dishes to help Casey out, who protested right away.

“You are visit, I’ll take care of it.”

“Overruled. What am I supposed to do, just sit here and watch you do stuff?”, she said, amusement in her voice. Casey chuckled.

“It’s only a couple of plates and cutlery, I’ll be done in a minute.”

She took the dishes to the sink and started to wash it. Olivia watched her do the task for a while. She had had plenty of time during the dinner to actually think of the thing that had barely crossed her mind a bit earlier, before Casey had turned around with dish in hands.  After thinking for a moment, Olivia finally gathered the courage to stand up and walk towards the ADA.

“Almost done here.” she said without turning around, hearing Olivia’s movement and heels clicking slowly on the floor.

Liv had a lopsided smile on her face - she had something else in mind. From the counter, Florence observed with her big green eyes as her new friend got closer and closer to her human.

Casey felt Olivia’s presence right behind her a second before she felt the long, soft touch down behind her neck. The ADA froze on the spot, and Olivia watched as her skin rose in goosebumps all over.

Her friend had been setting the pace so far, Olivia had realized, so she felt it was her turn to set some things in motion, too. As usual, no beating around the bush. Because she was wearing boots and Casey was bare feet, the detective was a bit taller than her for the first time ever, which was weird but interesting. New.

Olivia touched the back of her neck with one of her fingers, barely touching the skin. She turned her hand to caress Casey’s neck with the back of her fingers, and down to the portion of her back that her tank top wasn’t covering. The detective stepped closer to her friend, resting her right cheek against the ADA’s left ear. Olivia’s caressing hand traveled from her back down to her bare forearm, feeling Casey’s soft skin now textured with shivers.

Casey’s wet hands were now simply resting against the sink, the nearly finished dishes now immediately forgotten. Olivia felt Casey lean back against her body, turning her face slightly towards Liv’s. With her free arm, the detective embraced Casey around her waist.

Saying she was attracted to Casey would be the understatement of the century - Casey was a top quality _Olivia Benson MagnetTM_ with her fresh, sweet smell of flowers and soft skin and classic-statuesque profile; with her sun-like presence so powerful that looking at her directly would probably kill; with her absolutely dorky reactions under Olivia’s compliments or innuendos.

Liv nuzzled her neck and kissed her skin softly but longingly. Everytime the sun came out so bright Olivia felt like she could burn, she felt her heart pound like thunder storm underneath her ribcage and butterflies fly all over underneath her skin, making her shiver as well, under Casey’s touch.

On Casey’s side, her impressions and feelings about Liv had already started to shift since day one.

Still holding herself on the edge of the sink with one hand, she lifted the other arm up and back to hold Olivia’s neck against her. Cold from the water, Casey’s touch against her friend’s warm skin made the detective breathe in heavier with surprise against the ADA’s neck. Liv’s silky hair brushed Casey’s face, as if caressing her, too.

Casey’s feelings were now less about how strange it would be to date her friend-who-also-happened-to-be-a-woman and more about how awesome it would actually be. The electricity around Olivia had always been alluring to her, but not the same way it had been lately.

Or maybe it was, but she hadn't known that yet up to that moment. It was hard to tell at that point.

Just like Liv's intelligence and fearlessness towards the challenges laid before her were characteristics Casey had always admired a lot, and now there was no way to define those things other than “ _hot_ ” - like Liv's body pressed against her back and her lips against her neck, soft and gentle.

She pulled away from Liv only for time enough to turn around in her embrace, facing her. She looked at Liv’s eyes, dark not only in color, feeling herself being dragged in by the undertow dwelling in them. They haven’t really kissed since Olivia’s confession weeks before, both of them just letting things happen naturally.

The way Liv wrapped her arms tightly around her and looked at her with her intent as clear as daylight seemed pretty natural to Casey.

It was the ADA who leaned forward and kissed her lips this time, holding Olivia’s head between her hands, thumbs brushing against the detective’s cheeks. Unlike the previous kiss, Casey parted her lips as soon as she felt Liv’s pressing against them, giving her room right from the start. She soon tasted the wine.

Slowly, she licked Olivia's upper lip with the tip of her tongue, looking straight into her eyes as she did it. Casey wasn't sure if she was more attracted to the small gasp Olivia let slip when she did that or to how she answered it - by gently biting Casey's bottom lip, holding it for a second between her teeth, teasing her.

What Casey _was_ pretty sure though, was that her organs had probably just turned into melted lava underneath her skin. Her hand traveled through Liv's minty-scented hair, dense and smooth and fresh like a curtain of rain under her fingertips.

Every action she did, Olivia had a reaction for it - kissing her with the same intensity, biting Casey’s lip, holding her tight; Liv’s reaction to Casey’s fingers in her hair was making the ADA lean against the sink and slip a hand under her tank top, resting it on her waist. She gripped a little, wanting to feel Casey’s warm, velvet-like skin against her fingers.

Olivia heard a very brief, but deep moan from Casey and she thought she couldn’t like her more, but she was clearly wrong. Casey could almost hear the sound of the electricity in the small gap between them, and she could definitely feel it.

Liv went from Casey’s lips to her face and back to her neck, kissing her a couple of times there. Then, she simply rest her chin on her friend’s shoulder, the side of her face once more against Casey’s, and held her close around her waist. Casey did the same, her arms around Olivia’s neck as she still leaned against the sink behind her.

They stood there, embracing each other, savoring every little thing in that simple action.

At the same time, one was aware the other was debating if they should go further or not. Would that be rushing it? Or be too much? Even if both of them felt like going on, they didn’t want to spoil what they had achieved so far. They enjoyed the moment for a little longer as they tried to choose the direction they should go.

However, that decision ended up not being made by any of them. Olivia leaned back from the embrace a bit, so she could look down at her feet.

“Here she comes again.” she said in a low, soft voice imbued with humor, seeing Florence happily rubbing against their legs, breaking the ice a little. Casey also looked down, her head resting against Olivia’s.

“I think she wants us to leave room for Jesus.”, Casey answered. Liv’s chuckle immediately filled the room, her chest vibrating pleasantly against hers and passing the laugh to Casey as well, before she added “Who would say she’s so strict.”

Olivia’s chuckle grew into a laugh and she looked at Casey, whose smile made her look like she was beaming even more than her usual sun’s daughter-self.

“Maybe we should listen to your Chaperone Tiger.”, Liv concluded. Casey agreed, knowing exactly what she meant.

She was starting to notice it, that when she was alone with Olivia, their interactions sometimes sounded more like some crazy talk full of weird codes that one would still understand perfectly what the other was saying - if not better than saying things in full, normal-phrased sentences.

She kissed Liv’s lips quickly before walking around her, completely forgetting to finish the little dishes left. They served themselves another glass of wine before going to the living room in a line of ADA-Detective-Feline Chaperone. Florence curled herself on Olivia’s lap the best she could - she was way too big to fit her whole body onto her legs -, as Casey got the controller and flipped the channels for something they could watch.

When she finally set on something, Olivia was intrigued by the choice.

“I’d never think you were the sci-fi type.” she said, looking at the _Star Trek: Voyager_ rerun on the screen.

“I used to watch the older seasons with my grandma and siblings back in the day. It brings back fond memories. But really, it’s awesome.” She then started to talk about all the ethic vs duty conflicts the stories usually focused on, and all the philosophical and moral questions it made all the time.

“I’ve always thought it was a bit too nerdy, but it doesn’t seem too bad now that you are telling me about it.”

Casey chuckled.

“Everyone always think it’s about space and futuristic made-up gadgets, but it really is about what makes us human.”

Liv turned to the screen, an expression of genuine curiosity on, one of her hands petting Florence sound asleep on her lap. That “dark side” of Casey, covered by the bright side of her daily life as the most unforgiving ADA she has ever worked with, really was full of surprises. Olivia was loving to see that side.

Before any of them could see, the night had advanced a lot, and both of them would have a long next day ahead.

Olivia got ready to leave, putting her coat on.

“Thanks for the dinner. The night was incredible.”, the detective said, seeing a _mission accomplished_ type of smile spread on Casey’s face, her dimples really evident by it.

 _God, she’s cute_ , was probably the thing she had been thinking the most on the last few weeks, closely followed by _God, she’s hot._

Casey stepped closer and kissed her.

“You’re welcome, Liv. I really enjoyed it, too.”, she replied, still embracing Olivia, looking at her with a ray of happiness dwelling in her spring-colored eyes. 

“Next date will be on me.”

“Of course it will.”, Casey answered, breaking the embrace and leaning down to pick up Florence in her arms before she opened the door.

Before stepping outside, Liv looked back at them and saw the two sets of green eyes looking at her, belonging to two big, red, pretty creatures - less like “pets really look like their owners” and more like a god’s offspring with her mythological feline sidekick.

 

 

It was Olivia’s turn to have a funny look on her face.

“What?”

“Nothing.”, she simply said. “Good night, Casey.”

Casey squinted a little at her answer. But she just replied the detective.

“Night, Liv. See you tomorrow.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit: Made a painting inspired by that moment at the end, so I decided to just add it here as a little bonus <3


	4. Chapter 4

It was almost as if she was undercover again - at work, Casey and her would behave as professional as two people could be. She wasn’t giving the ADA the distant-cold treatment anymore, but they still kept it at one arm length away nonetheless.

Elliot even said she should apologize for once to Casey for the whole Charlie incident, because it was “evident she was still pissed at her for that”. Olivia had to hold back her amusement for being _too convincing_ for once in her life.

It wasn’t the ideal situation, but a lot was at stake if people knew about what they had been up to. Eventually they would know. However for now, they were trying to do whatever they could, the best way they could, to make it work.

On the other hand, the affection between them seemed to be growing every time they would find themselves alone - since that night at Casey’s two weeks previously, visits at each other’s places had become more frequent. Even though they were not able to spend a lot of time together because of their work, they would make it as often as possible and seize every second of it.

Most of the middle-schooler shyness they initially had was gone by now, so there were a lot more tender embraces, hand holding, soft face caresses and steamy reprises of the making out they had done at Casey’s kitchen that night.  

That was probably the biggest difference Olivia had noticed, when looking back at previous experiences and dates she had had before, with men. She didn’t feel that weird pressure she always felt - especially in those few times she really wanted to take more time with -, feeling like the guy would quickly lose interest if they didn’t get intimate soon.

It wasn’t like she didn’t want to go to a next level with Casey - the thoughts she had been having about the ADA emphasized quite the opposite -, but she did enjoy they were just letting things happen on their own. It would probably be considered “taking too long” or “losing the momentum” for someone looking from the outside, but Olivia was too busy falling for her friend more each time she saw her to care about standards.

They had even fallen asleep together once in Olivia’s bed, when it got a little too late for Casey to go back home - or that’s what they told themselves.

Liv lended her a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants and they got into bed, cuddling themselves to sleep like it was a second nature, no pressure or sexual advances. It was an odd, unprecedented situation for both of them, but a pleasant one nonetheless. And even if they were consciously “proceeding with caution”, Olivia was aware it was just a matter of time for things to start happening.

It was like a very long song that started slow and soft and then grew in intensity as it rolled.

Olivia also had noticed that she didn’t feel like she had to “impress” Casey for they’ve known each other for years already, but most importantly she didn’t feel like she had to behave in certain ways in order to be accepted or to be considered “attractive”.

More times than she could, she noticed guys would feel intimidated by her position as a senior detective, and by the fact she clearly was someone who wouldn’t bend herself to fit into their lives or ideas. That got old really fast. It was one of the reasons why she simply avoided going out on dates nowadays, or avoided too much talking and just getting straight to the point. Normally that would actually be what guys wanted - getting laid without worrying about talking before and / or after -, but she had her share of clingy dates, like Cassidy had been when they had hooked up years before. Those were the worst type to get rid of.

With Casey, Olivia suddenly saw herself free from all of that, and from things she had never even thought of before - like finding herself exactly where she was at that very moment, with Casey straddling her lap and kissing her deeply, Olivia’s hands gripping her hips tightly.

There was no way she would ever have this kind of experience with a man, because “that’s not what girls do”. Even coming forward and letting her feelings be known the way she had done with Casey would scare a lot of dudes out there, for the same stupid, outdated reasons. And the list went on, featuring many other things like that and some that were way too subtle to pinpoint in people’s behaviors, but she still knew they were there.

And there were other big differences Olivia still had no idea of, but was about to find out really soon.

She was surprised by Casey’s gesture - they were just hanging out at Olivia’s living room that night, talking and drinking some wine like they always did. Silence fell in the little space between them and making out was as inevitable as the force of gravity.

Casey then landed their glasses on Olivia’s coffee table and as if she had done that a million times already, she straddled Olivia’s lap. Casey stared into her brown eyes when Liv leaned her head back, looking up at the ADA with dark cloud intent in her irises. She placed her hands on Casey’s thighs, waiting for her move.

Casey pulled her red hair all to one side, placing that arm on the sofa behind Olivia’s head to support her torso. She placed her other hand on Liv’s face, leaning close, their eyes never ceasing the stare between each other. She caressed the detective’s chin with her fingers, even paler against Liv’s warm, lion-gold skin.

 _Pretty or beautiful or gorgeous still can’t describe_ , Casey thought, even when her thumb caressed Olivia’s bottom lip and she parted them a little, anticipation imbued in that small reaction.

It was so, so much more than that.

Casey leaned forward, kissing the corner of her mouth to tease her a bit before fully going for her lips, slowly. It didn’t take much for Casey to feel Liv sliding her hands up her thighs towards her hips.

It was as if they were in a pleasant slow-motion where they could feel every little thing, amplified - the tips of their tongues touching their lips and lips being tenderly held between teeth and how soft one was under the other’s caresses. Casey’s warmth against Olivia’s body and Olivia’s thundering heart against her chest.

Liv felt her friend’s warmth against her gripping hands, but it was not enough. She slipped her hands under Casey’s shirt, seeking for the lovely, addictive burning sensation of their skin touching. Since the first time she had done it, it had become one of her favorite things to do.

Casey made no objection at all, sliding her own hand from Liv’s face to her chest, touching the skin that her shirt wasn’t covering for a moment, before getting greedier and sliding it a little lower to Olivia’s breast.

The gesture made the detective’s desire for her skyrocket and soon enough she was exploring Casey’s body underneath her clothes and it didn’t take long for her to take Casey’s shirt out for once. She let Olivia do it, the dark intentions now in Casey’s spring-colored eyes too, her pupils like black suns, large with desire. It intensified when Olivia’s lips made a generous trail of kisses from Casey’s mouth, down to her neck and chest.

Distracted with her task, Olivia’s skin rose in strong shivers as if she was swept by sudden winter winds when Casey brushed Liv’s hair aside to kiss and hold her earlobe between her teeth. Olivia couldn’t hold back the brief groan that came from her throat nor her need from spreading from her center to the very tip of her fingers and toes.

Under Olivia’s lips and hands all over her, Casey’s situation wasn’t at all far from the detective’s as she felt herself getting more aroused by the minute, Liv's electric touch attracting her like a moth to the fire

They didn’t have to think a lot about it.

“Let’s go.” Casey managed to whisper into Olivia’s ear, her voice giving away her need. She didn’t have to ask twice, as a second later they rushed to the bedroom, Liv pulling her by the hand.

It was Olivia who took the control of the situation right away, telling Casey to lay down as soon as they stepped into the bedroom. The ADA did that, feeling galaxies spinning in her stomach and under her skin when she saw Olivia unbutton her own shirt and taking it off before moving herself on top of her.

As she did that, Casey saw that lioness-strength energy and stare she had always seen in Liv, but now totally repurposed - it was usually about survival, sheer determination and often, anger; now, it was just dark clouds in her eyes in a stormy yearning. Casey had barely been introduced to that side of Olivia and she already loved it to death.

Probably taking her “ _oh no, she IS hot”_ face for a nervous one, Liv looked down at her, the intensity previously in her eyes melting when she whispered.

“We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”

Casey smiled for a second, thinking it was really touching how Olivia was thinking about her well-being above everything. That was incredibly sweet. But soon her smile intensified into a smirk - she wanted Olivia to touch her somewhere else.

She clamped Olivia’s hips with her thighs, pressing their bodies together. She buckled her  hips up against Liv’s.

“I _do_ want it, Liv.”, she overkilled.

It was all Olivia needed for the hunger to come back to her brown eyes at full force. And it was with that same full force that Liv went for Casey’s neck, not only kissing but giving her soft bites as well. Olivia asked Casey to unclasp her bra since she was using her arms to support herself over her, and soon it was being tossed aside. Liv felt Casey hold her head against her chest when she went back to her kiss-and-bite trail, now finding its way on the new uncovered, soft skin of her lovely friend.

At the same time, one of Liv’s hands slowly slipped down, caressing Casey’s abdomen, and going further, reaching the waist of her jeans and swiftly unbuttoning it, giving enough room for her hand to continue its way down. Over her underwear, Olivia pressed Casey just a bit.

It was enough to make Casey let out a short moan and make her hips buckle up again, the involuntary kind this time, reaching out for Liv’s touch. Olivia smirked against Casey’s soft breast she was kissing, already feeling on her fingers the ADA’s arousal soaking up the fabric of her panties.

Olivia wouldn’t deny she had her share of dirty thoughts about her and Casey together, before and after telling her about her feelings - she also wouldn’t deny such thoughts even led to other things when she was alone at night, on that same bed. But truth be told, she was a lot nervous about not knowing what to do when it was time.

That was something she was debunking at that exact moment, and thinking how silly she was for even thinking that.

Not only because her moves and actions were coming out so natural as if she had done it a million times already, but due for obvious reasons, she knew perfectly well what buttons to push. Quite literally. Olivia heard Casey moan again, louder this time, and she wasn’t even inside her panties yet.

 _Seems I’ll have to change that_ , she thought to herself, going back to her knees so she could make that happen. With Casey looking down at her with solar eclipses for eyes and parted lips, Olivia pulled her pants out, and then the black pair of panties Casey had totally ruined.

Olivia had already concluded before that if she wasn’t really some old starry god’s offspring, Casey really felt like one in their kisses and caresses; but now, she was able to confirm at first hand that she _definitely_ _was_ one, from the greek-statuesque curves and features, to the red hair tossed on the pillow, framing her face like a crown made of fire, to the way she was looking at her with a disire just as burning, to  literally every single detail that made Casey Novak, Casey Novak.

Casey gave her one of those lopsided smiles. The detective knew how to push the right buttons, but so did Casey - Olivia's heart thundered louder than anything against her ribs and ears as she watched when Casey simply spread her legs apart, not only to break Liv’s brain, but also to make the message clear.  
  
“ _Please, don’t do this to me”_ was a constant thought that crossed Olivia’s mind, and everytime it was because Casey was doing something she _didn’t_ want her to stop doing, and that one deed in specific was no exception.

Before all of that, one of Olivia’s girl-on-girl-rookie fears was that she wouldn’t like going down on Casey, but that was another theory that was quickly being busted. She bowed down, laying on her stomach and positioning herself. She then parted Casey’s lips and pressed her smooth skin with her tongue, going straight to the spot Casey was craving so much to be touched.

Casey felt her entire body warm up in the very second Liv’s tongue met her, one hand going back to hold the wall behind her and the other landing on Olivia’s head, her fingers intertwining with her loose curls.

Her legs laid spread over Liv’s shoulders, and the detective looked up at her from under her brows, hair falling messy over her face and her lust so evident in her eyes Casey could almost see it coming out of them like lightning bolts. There was no doubt that that was the hottest thing Casey had ever seen her entire life. She felt her body getting warmer and warmer with each stroke of Liv’s tongue.

“Are you sure this is the first time you do this …?”, Casey asked, out of breath. She heard Olivia chuckle in a naughty way, and the vibration it caused made Casey let out a long, deep moan, as if it was Olivia's quirky answer to her question.

When Liv heard her name, she thought she was melting right on the spot. It sent an electric whip down her body and she closed her eyes, feeling herself grind against the bed for a moment. When she opened her eyes again, she was ready to send Casey right back to the stars she had come from.

With another body-melting, deep sound from Casey’s throat and a harder grip on Liv’s hair, the detective pushed two fingers inside, curling them up at the same time she pressed her tongue against Casey’s sweet spot.

She was on the edge already, and with Liv’s adition it didn’t take any longer for the heat running through Casey’s blood and the entire galaxies spinning underneath her skin to turn into a massive supernova that took over her mind in a white flash and bright, colorful stars painted under her lids.  
  
Olivia felt Casey’s body curl and shake underneath her. She heard Casey’s voice, long and sweet and intense and repeating, Liv’s name woven in it here and there. Looking up, she was only able to see Casey’s chin as she leaned her head back, her torso curved up.

She kept her slow movements on her until Casey’s body moved, wanting Liv to stop. Olivia sat on her knees again, wiping her chin with the back of her hand. She had the most satisfied smirk on, as if she was the one who just had a massive orgasm and not her sweet, gorgeous friend laid before her. The thin coat of sweat on Casey’s skin made it look like she was all covered in moondust. For the face Casey had on, she probably was, indeed.

The docile, satisfied smile on the ADA’s lips was soon replaced by one of desire once again. Olivia knew she was in trouble when Casey sat up, looking stunning than ever with her messy hair falling all over her face, flushed cheeks and eyes alert with the solar eclipse pupils still on, the green of her irises just a crystalline rim around them.

Before Liv could even think, she was the one being slowly stripped, Casey’s straddling her again and her hands touching all over.

“It’s payback time, detective.” she said next to Olivia’s ear with a husky voice, sending shivers down Liv’s body. She leaned for a kiss, tasting herself on Olivia’s lips.

With Casey’s gently push of her hand against Liv’s chest, she made the detective lay down for her. Positioning herself between her legs, Casey didn’t waste any time to free Olivia of everything that hid the full sight of her body. She had to admit she had been thinking about that a lot, and she was quite eager to see if Liv was as striking in the flesh as she was in her imagination.

When she was finally done with her task, Casey smirked, seeing that her mind’s eye was pretty close to reality. The only difference was that Liv’s muscles were a little more defined in reality, round and smooth underneath her skin, subtle but still visible as she moved.

Olivia was intense and curvy and soft under her touch, and she was staring down at Casey with that dark undertow that always dragged the ADA in. It was that magnetic undertow that made her move forward, hovering over Olivia’s body and placing herself on top of her. Olivia held and caressed her, the detective’s fingers trailing Casey’s spine down slowly and up again, making her shiver and remember that night on her kitchen.

Their bodies finally touched, full skin against skin for the first time. That velvet-like, burning, sparking sensation was the best feeling of the universe. While Casey’s left arm laid on the bed as support, her right hand was busy reaching down for Olivia, who groaned when Casey finally touched her.

Liv had the storm brewing inside of her since they were still back in the living room and there was no doubt Casey’s hand pressing against her was just adding more and more to the delightful turmoil forming deep inside her.

Looking down to enjoy the sight for a moment, Casey shifted a little and moved her hand, gently reaching Olivia’s aching spot with the tip of her finger.

It was literally like when they say a butterfly’s wing beating causes a tornado on the other side of the world - at that point Olivia didn’t need much to feel the pleasure increase and spread through her body like pouring hot water. She let out a louder moan this time, bending her knee and resting the inner side of her thigh against Casey’s body as she caressed Liv very slowly, being careful not to hurt or overwhelm her.

She felt Olivia’s hips moving up against hers, seeking for more of that touch Liv was pretty sure she would never get enough of. Casey looked at her face, watching her chin move up and closed eyes, Casey’s hair falling down on Olivia's shoulder and neck like another layer of caresses.

Pretty certain Liv was already flooding, she slid her fingers down, finding she was absolutely correct. Casey easily slipped two fingers inside, curled up, and Olivia’s moan was loud and lovely next to her ear. She pressed inside Olivia again, and outside with her palm, making Liv repeat her exclamation, hips pressing against her hand.

Casey nuzzled her friend’s neck, breathing in the sweet, minty smell of her shampoo and held Olivia’s skin gently between her teeth as she pressed against her, again and again. Olivia buckled her hips up harder this time, her arm around Casey’s shoulders and her other hand caressing down Casey’s side. Under that touch, Casey felt an aroused kind of ticklish - a weird sensation, but absolutely delightful, goosebumps going from the back of her head down to her legs.

While Olivia had been so nervous about getting things right when finally getting laid with her, Casey was very confident all along, once more surprising herself. She knew she would know exactly what to do - which meant things men more than often _wouldn’t_ do to her. She tried to keep her mind open to all of it, and her confidence was really showing in the way Liv curved herself up towards her, lips parted in gasps and soft moans, and how wet she felt against her fingers.

However, that was only the beginning.

With a quick kiss on Liv’s jaw, she moved, stopping everything. Liv groaned unhappily.

“Come on, you tease.”, she complained.

“Oh, I wouldn’t say that.”, Casey answered before moving out of the bed, kneeling on the floor next to the edge. “Come here, sweetheart.”

She said it in a low, alluring way, but the way Olivia moved closer would make it look like an immediate command. Casey placed Liv’s legs over her shoulders, embracing them. She smirked, and kissed Olivia’s inner thighs slowly, one then the other. Getting closer, but not really.

“Now you are just being mean...”, she heard Olivia start.

But Casey made her chuckle turn into a surprised pleasure sound when she finally spread Olivia's lips with her fingers and touched her with her mouth. That was also another similarity between the dirty thoughts she had been having about Olivia and her - in her mind, going down on her was incredibly hot. So it was, in real life.

She licked Olivia’s smooth skin, taking her time. She pressed the tip of her tongue against her spot and Olivia reached down, gently gripping Casey’s  hair between her fingers. She had no wall behind her, so she just held the sheets underneath her with her other hand.

The storm inside her felt more like a typhoon at that point, the winds in and out of her lungs as she panted heavily, her mind spinning. She was close.

Casey stroke her with her tongue again and again, looking up at Olivia from where she was, arousal hitting her under that sight. Olivia’s moans grew louder and more frequent. With another flick, Olivia felt white lightning crack inside her and divide her entire body in half, thunder coming out from her lips as Casey’s name, loud, echoing, repeating. Casey tought she would burst into flames right on the spot only by the sound of Liv's lovely, sweet moans until they started to fade, slowly.

She then stopped and moved her arm, placing it over Olivia’s thigh. She rested her chin against her hand with a satisfaction smile, caressing Liv’s other thigh with her free hand as she waited for her friend to come back to earth.

Aftermath electricity sparkled before Liv’s eyes, and she took a deep breath.

“Okay. That was incredible.”

“You are welcome.”

“Don’t be so cocky.”

“I’m pretty sure that has nothing to do with this.”, Casey said.

Olivia laughed at her own accidental joke, sitting up.

It was Casey’s turn to admire the wonders post-sex was to someone’s look - the tossed dark hair and sleepy, smiling eyes Liv had on; her cheeks were very red and her skin was golden, sparkling like dewdrops under the sun.

She leaned forward, holding Casey’s face between her hands and kissed her lips tenderly, saying all the compliments she wanted to give Casey, which words wouldn’t properly describe.

Their night had just begun.


	5. Chapter 5

He wasn't always there, and wasn't a constant part of their daily lives, but somehow he was the first to see it. It was all in the small, subconscious gestures, which happened to be his area. The other aspect of that was _also_ his area of expertise, so to speak, so the more he noticed it, the clearer it got.

He couldn't say he was really close to anyone in the SVU, since his relationship with the detectives was entirely professional, but he could say he considered Olivia a good friend nonetheless.

They had an excellent work dynamic, helping each other a lot in their investigations. Once or twice, she had asked for his help as a friend too, in times of need - which was a lot coming from Olivia, who would refuse to be helped at all costs, unless she really has no way out of it. And that was also true on the other way around, when he had asked for her help once or twice and she would do it in a heartbeat, as loyal as a lioness to her pride.

He was aware she bottled everything up, and of course she would keep that to herself, too. And he completely understood her reasoning behind that decision.

At first, everyone witnessed Olivia go down in a spiral of depression and anxiety, locking herself away even more, her well-known feistiness turning into really bad short-temper way too easily. Everyone, including him, thought she was like that due to one of their cases that really got to her months before, involving domestic abuse from an alcoholic mother to her teenage daughter. He didn’t know all the details, but he knew Olivia went through the same situation as a child.

It wouldn't take one to be a forensic psychiatrist for the FBI to notice that, it was pretty obvious. But it would take someone like him to actually see the pattern.

Huang saw it when Olivia's behavior would shift as their ADA joined them in a room, or when she left - Liv would turn more or less distant, depending on that. She would fidget and pace around, uncomfortable like a caged wild animal, but clearly trying to hide that too, conscious of her own nervousness.

It was a sad irony that, hypothetically, in her attempt to hide the turmoil inside her, she was making it even more evident.

It wasn't as obvious as one would think by such description. That shift was very, very subtle but his eyes trained to see behavior patterns were able to pick up on them easily. And for what he saw, Casey Novak's behavior seemed to be like everyone else’s in the squad, unaware of what was probably really going on with Liv.

It was no top secret that Olivia wouldn't date anyone for too long, and suddenly that - and well, her _entirely_ -, made a lot of sense.

He disapproved of the popular concept of “ _gaydar_ ”, in which you can tell people are gay or not just by looking at them - he thought it was borderline offensive for it laid a lot on stereotypes and it was one of the things that still reinforced people telling him that he “doesn't look gay” whenever they tell them that he is.

Whatever that meant.

He had known Liv for years now, and adding all those little signs to the mix that’s what made him think about it when he observed her clearly struggling with something.

He thought that maybe she wasn't aware of her own heart herself, it happens more often than not. He even remembered seeing her flush a little for a couple of times around Casey, and even caught her staring at the ADA when no one was really watching - he had never seen the detective do that before, she wasn’t one that would easily be embarrassed or behave like that at all.

And then, the detective and the ADA discussed in front of everyone around a month before, and Liv pulled out something about a man named Charlie that deeply distressed Casey, making her leave the precinct with a face that would probably make a dozen people drop on the spot on her way out, if looks could kill. Olivia had clearly poked a vespiary there. If his impressions were correct, Liv was trying to push Casey away at all costs, her denial stronger than her reasoning and her good-natured heart.

After that, he noticed they behaved strictly professional around each other. Something was telling him that it wasn't because Casey was still pissed at her.

He easily recognized it when people were trying to hide something not only because he was a profiler for the FBI, but because he found himself in those shoes more times than he wanted to admit.

The last time it happened was when he was dating one of his workmates, an FBI agent called Elias Quinn - they would behave pretty much like that. They were equal in their status inside the Bureau, so their discretion was purely to keep their private lives as such, as he would do if he was seeing a woman instead. He hated to expose his personal life.

But he still remembered how it was to behave like that out of fear of being outed, of fear of people’s reactions, or even having his career affected by his sexuality being revealed.

Under normal circumstances, he would just let it be because it was none of his business and Olivia would _definitely_ bite his head off for meddling, but the fact she was a detective that worked with the ADA side by side could be seen as a big problem if they were really involved and wouldn't let this be known.

It was a tricky situation and he was more than sympathetic to why they wouldn't disclose their status, if that was really true - even though things seemed clear to him, he didn’t want to assume anything without the facts.

However, there was a big picture there, and he was concerned about it, on his friend's behalf.

It was with a bit of uncertainty on how her reaction would be that, after discussing the current case's leads and status, he called Liv aside to talk. He asked if she had a few minutes to go outside - he didn't want anyone accidentally overhearing their conversation.

Outside, she looked at him, intrigued. He chose his words, carefully.

“I know it's none of my business and don't really know how to put this, Liv, but I feel like I should try nonetheless.” he said, as she squinted at him and tilted her head a little, confused. “I understand why you wouldn't want to tell people about this, I really do. But I think you should disclose your relationship status with Miss Novak as soon as possible.”

His confirmation was right there.

Her eyes went wide and the red color crept up to her face faster than saying her full name. That was something he wouldn’t see everyday. Contrary to what he expected, Liv didn’t lash out at him.

At first, she looked like she was going to deny it, but knowing she would be terrible at that under the major blush she knew she was having, she changed her mind.

“H-how…?”, she whispered, not really able to finish the sentence.

“I'm an FBI profiler, Liv”, he smiled tenderly. “And also a gay man who understands what you are going through, and worries you two will get in trouble with the IAB.”

“Oh... I didn't know. About you.”, she said.

“I don't bring it up often at work or in professional contexts.”

“If I knew, I'd probably had gone to you for a talk. Before, I mean.”

“You still can, if you want.”, he said, his voice on that tone of calm waters he always had, welcoming her.

She turned her phone’s screen on to look at the hour.

“I still have some time. We could have a coffee, if you can?”

“Sure. Let’s go.”

They went to a nearby coffee shop and picked an empty spot so they could have some privacy to talk.

“Now, tell me. How did you find out, really?”, she asked.

He knew her question had a lot more underneath it - as in “if he had seen it, would other people see it too?”

“Picking up people’s behaviors is my job, Liv. Everyone saw you were distressed for months. I just realized it was because of what it was, due to… my own experience with the subject.”

Olivia looked down at her own cup, turning it around slowly on the table with both her hands.

“So… it was hard for you, too…? I mean… to accept your feelings for other men?”

“You see, my family was the model of a traditional Chinese home. It wasn’t easy to match what they thought a man should be with the things I was feeling and thinking. So I locked it away inside me for a long time, until I was able to leave behind all the things I had learned with them on that matter.” he told her, looking less like the impeccable, water pond-perfect professional he let people see most of the time, and more like the still-waters-run-deep empathetic man who would do anything to help someone or save a life. Even if that meant losing his licence, like it almost had happened when he had helped a boy through illegal channels.

“I’m sorry it was like that for you.” she said, sad look in her eyes.

“Thanks, Liv.” he replied, taking a sip from his coffee. “It was difficult - all the self-doubt and the self hate I went through most of my childhood and into my teen years. It got a lot better after I went to college, away from my family’s grip and judgements.”

“You were allowed to breath for the first time.”

“Exactly. Is it being like that for you, too?”

Liv slowly circled the cup’s rim with her finger, looking down at it as she thought for a moment on how to explain, how to choose the correct words that would synthesize the impressions she had been having lately.

“You know… I knew there was something different. I’ve always known. It was like a red light in the back of my mind, always flashing, all the time, as a sign that something was wrong but not telling me _what_ exactly was wrong.” she paused for a second before continuing. Huang noticed how much she was struggling to let those words out. “I didn’t follow how other girls behaved, or the way they seemed to think. I was the tall, odd girl, the one boys never thought as ‘cute’, and the one girls once wanted to give me a lesson after school for being ‘ _such a dyke_ ’. The strange, quiet, ugly one. Trouble child. The one with a drunken mom.”

“I’m so sorry, Liv…” Huang said, broken-hearted by her words.

He knew exactly how it felt like - growing up to be the boy who was different from the others, who would be bullied for being small and skinny, for being Chinese, for being “ _such_ _a fag_ ”.  He had his share of violent bullying against him, too. He would never imagine Olivia went through all those terrible things, but no one ever imagines terrible things like that happening in people’s pasts.

Olivia hated to look back at that part of her life more than anything, she would never talk about it. But telling Huang made her feel as comfortable as one could be when reviving such memories. She felt that talking out loud of her buried pains and the recently discovered side of her own identity was already starting to help her make sense of everything. How one thing was so intrinsically tied to the other and she never realized, until that moment.

“When I started dating guys, I felt like I had to behave... _differently_ .” She revealed, squinting her eyes at her cup’s direction but not really looking at it. Her voice was a little more than a whisper, low and deep, but her distress, trying as hard as she could to hold back her tears, was crystal clear to Huang. “I tried not to be too funny, or too loud; not too clingy, not too distant; I’ve always been taller than the average, so boys were intimidated because I was often taller than them too, or because I simply looked unapproachable, for many reasons. All of it, all the little things about me were a problem. Not only about dating. It was…. _everything_.”

The psychiatrist could tell she wasn’t just being really honest to him - she was venting in a way she probably never had the chance to do before in her entire life. The herculean effort she was doing to hold the storm back inside her finally gave in and tears rolled down her face. Huang could count on the fingers of one single hand how many times he had seen Olivia so upset. There would still be a lot of fingers left.

He offered his hand out for Olivia, and she held it with a sad, but grateful smile.

“It’s as if we are these… _aberrations_.” Huang said, tenderly caressing her with his thumb. He did know it, way too well. “We didn’t fit, no matter how much we tried, and I doubt we would have anyway. It was not your fault, Liv.”

“Yes… I know...” she said, wiping her tears away with her sleeve. “I eventually just stopped trying. It took me way too long to. And when I finally did, I realized how it wasn’t really the biggest loss of all, you know. Not caring about people thought about me. Not dating at all, or just dating guys to go straight to the point...”

“But…?”

“There was something missing. Of course there was.”, she let out a laugh without joy. After a pause, she continued “I’ve been hit on by women before, in and out of duty. I would always dismiss them with a smile and a nod, and say _I’m flattered but_ _I’m also straight_.”

“We convince ourselves of a lie until it feels like it really is the truth. Sometimes, we are completely blinded by our own lies. But sometimes, mostly in cases like this, we always know deep inside what the real deal is.” Huang explained.

“For what you’ve said, you’ve known since pretty early in your life.”

“Yes. But everyone’s experiences are different. Maybe I noticed so quickly because my home environment was so strict, I was be able to tell right away my perception of the reality diverged a lot from what I was ‘supposed to’ see.” Huang said, his professional side kicking in a little, but not letting it overpower his friendly tone. “Some people just take longer to see it, for so many reasons. I think you just wanted to fit in, to be like everybody else. That’s not a crime, it’s completely understandable. We all want to belong.”

“That was probably it, I think…”, Liv replied, thoughtful.

“So, Casey was the first you noticed like that?”

She stopped to reflect on his question, looking outside of the big window next to their booth for a moment.

“Consciously, yes.”

He looked at her, puzzled.

“What do you mean?”

“Looking in retrospect, I can tell I did have my share of girl crushes before - for a friend, for a teacher, for someone at school or college, even at work. But I would always attribute the feeling to something else, like... just close friendship, admiration. I can see now it wasn’t that. I guess I was too far into Narnia to realize.” she said, with a dash of humour in her voice.

Huang chuckled.

“That’s more common than not, really.”

“But yeah, about Casey, hm… I guess that I went a bit nuts when I realized what kind of feelings I was really developing for her - ‘feelings that I shouldn’t have’.”

“That’s why you locked yourself away for these past months?”

“Yes. All the fear and the guilt, it was eating me inside.”

“Do you think the other detectives will treat you differently if they knew?”, he asked, genuinely concerned.

“At this point, I don’t think anymore that they would, but there’s always a chance. It wasn’t my only fear, though.”

“Casey.” he guessed. Olivia nodded.

“I was afraid she was going to want to keep distance, or even stop talking to me altogether if she knew.”

He smiled.  
  
“But she didn’t.”

She smiled too, for the first time in the conversation.

“I was definitely not expecting her reaction, to be honest. When I told her, she actually accepted trying something together right on the spot.”

“Really? Did she already have feelings for you?”

“Not really. At least, that’s what she thought at first. But she thought I was worth the shot, I guess. I’m glad she did.” she chuckled a little. “And it’s really... odd, noticing the differences. Feeling I don’t have to behave in certain ways around her. That’s quite new to me.”

“That's always great news to hear,” Huang said, the genuine smile on his lips. “knowing you have support. And her affection, too.”

“It is. It really is.” her own smile then melted a little, but not completely disappearing. “I know it’s a bit risky, considering our jobs. And I know that if we go on with it, we will eventually have to tell people.”

“It’s not gonna be easy.” Huang said, always sharp as a rock, but as smooth as marble at the same time. “But I wouldn’t have said that to you if I didn’t think it was important.”

“I know, Huang.” Olivia said, grateful. “Thank you for caring. And for listening.”

“Thank you, too. You always know where to find me, Liv.” he replied, his heart now flowing with a specific kind of happiness not only for helping Liv, but also for feeling he grew even closer to her as a friend on that afternoon.


	6. Chapter 6

Olivia crossed the street, her heels clicking against the pavement.

It was already late, but she was feeling really restless that night, like she wouldn’t feel since before telling Casey about her feelings. The conversation she had had with Huang a few days earlier had given her the courage she needed to do this.

On the same day it had happened, Olivia told Casey about how Huang had approached her, and about their talk after that. And on the night before, she had asked Casey if it would be okay to reveal about their relationship to Elliot. She seemed a little unsure, but she still trusted Olivia, and Olivia trusted Elliot - _“If A = B = C; then A = C, right?”_ , the ADA had said.

She climbed the steps, getting closer to the door, internally apologizing to Kathy before calling Elliot.

“Hey, El. I’m sorry for calling at this hour, I... I need to talk to you. I’m here on the porch.” she said. “I’m fine, don’t worry. I’m right here outside.”

Less than a minute later, he was there opening the door, concern deep in his blue eyes by the unusual visit.

“Are you alright, Liv?”, he asked.

She cursed herself a little for acting like such a drama queen. But she really needed to do that.

“No, El. I’m fine, really.”, she reassured him.

“Wanna come in?”, he offered.

“Oh, no, thanks. I won’t be taking too long.”

He squinted at her, intrigued, but he just closed the door behind him and directed her to the bench on the porch, where they sat together.

“What’s up, Liv?”, he whispered, concern still in his voice. “You show up in my house at almost midnight on a Wednesday night, and still there’s nothing wrong?”

“I was going to apologize for waking you up, but I see you weren’t sleeping.” she said, referring to him still wearing the same shirt and pants from work earlier. “I’m still sorry though.”

“Spill it, Liv.”

She sighed, leaning forward and placing her elbows on her knees, hands together. She then looked at him.

“Casey and I are dating.”

His clear eyes went wide, taken completely aback by the revelation.

“Did you just say you are dating Casey?”

“I did.”

“Casey Novak. Our ADA. The attorney version of Davy Jones?”

Olivia’s tension melted a little with her laugh.

“Yeah. All of them.”

Elliot made a " _not bad"_ kind of expression that still had dashes of surprise in it.

“Well, I mean, she’s… very pretty.”

Liv laughed again, but this time with a warm feeling spreading inside her heart. It was evident Elliot was still caught by surprise and was trying his best to “have the right reaction” to it.

“I guess that explains a lot.”, he said. “I mean, about the way you’ve been on the last months. Was that it?”

“Yes.”, she replied, looking down at her hands. “I was feeling… very conflicted. And scared.”

“That we wouldn’t understand?”

“Yeah. Casey and everyone else, really.”

“Is your name still Olivia Benson? Are you still annoying and addicted to coffee and still watching my lame ass out there to protect me?”

She didn’t answer, but he saw her smiling. He smiled too.

“Then nothing changes, Liv. You are still my partner and my best friend. Only difference now is that you’re probably 78% more dangerous to mess up with, now that you have Casey towering next to you, ready to kill anyone who pisses you off by using the sheer force of her angry stare alone.”

Olivia just nudged him. She had tears pooling in her eyes.

“She isn’t that Monolith of Wrath she makes everyone think she is, you know. She is actually quite dorky when she is a civilian.”

“That’s probably the most shocking revelation of the night.”

She chuckled.  
  
“Can’t say I wasn’t surprised when I saw that side of her, either.”, she said.

“I have to say I’m not surprised you like girls.”

“Your face when I said that told me differently.”

“Okay, maybe just a bit. I’m not surprised about Casey, either.”

“...just because she plays baseball with you?”, she raised her brow, amused.

“Sometimes stereotypes are correct, aren’t they? I mean, look at you. Ouch!”, he said, pretending to be hurt when she pretended to slap his shoulder, clicking her tongue. He then wrapped an arm around her shoulders, bringing her close in a half-embrace, leaning his head against hers. “I’m happy you told me. Please, tell me what happened, during all these months.”

Olivia then gave him a summary of what had been going in her life, how her explosion at Casey was related to that, and how she decided to apologize and reveal everything to the ADA that same night, almost two months before. How Casey accepted her feelings, and how she decided to try dating Liv.

As if guessing what was also going through Liv’s mind, Elliot said:  
  
“I won’t tell anyone about it, Liv. Don’t worry. But… Huang is right. Eventually, you two will have to disclose the relationship to the bosses.”

“I know. We are just… making sure this will keep going on for a little longer, before disclosing anything to the bosses, or anyone at all. I’m just telling you because…”

She interrupted her sentence, looking down at her hands.

“Yes?”  
  
“Because I trust you. And the reason I told you was more to let you know what was happening to me, before. I know how you were worried. And that I was pretty stupid with you, more than once. I’m sorry about that, too.”

“That’s alright, Liv. I… I may not know how it was like for you, dealing with all of that on your own, but I understand. And after you tell people, if anyone’s a prick to you, just let me know and I’ll make them eat their own teeth.”

He gripped her shoulder for a moment, and she placed her hand over it, her brown eyes showing all the gratitude that was thundering through her heart, more than the actual words she said to him as reply.


	7. Chapter 7

They got at Casey’s apartment that night, the little tiger of a cat quickly coming to meet them at the door, hearing her human and her friend behind it.

“Hold the beast, Liv!” Casey said, walking in first to Olivia coming right behind her.

Olivia came inside as well, calling Florence as she did it so she wouldn’t escape outside. Florence rubbed herself around Casey’s legs for a moment on her way to Liv’s, meowing before the detective picked her up and shut the door with her heel.

“It’s your child, woman.” Olivia said with amusement in her voice, holding the cat with both her arms as Florence kneaded her chest, purring.

She wasn’t expecting that growing so attached to Casey’s pet and vice-versa would come along with the bundle of dating the ADA, but it was just one of many pleasant surprises of her decision of finally confessing her feelings to Casey. She asked herself why she never got a pet for herself, too. Nights in her apartment wouldn’t have been as lonely.

Not that they are lonely, now.

She would stop at Casey’s place and vice versa pretty much every night, except when they had to stay in at work for some reason, which happened quite frequently. But they would always try to find a way to make up for it as their feelings for each other were clearly escalating.

“I’s not my fault my cat loves you more than me now.”, Casey joke-replied, serving food on Florence’s bowl, who quickly forgot about Liv and released herself from her arms at the mere sound of cat food being shaken to her.

“Treason!” Liv said to Florence as she ran away.

The detective went to the kitchen as well, leaning forward on the little division wall separating it from the living room. Casey did the same on the other side, resting her chin on her palm and closing her eyes, sighing as if she only then realized how tired she was.

“Long day?”

“Yeah.”

“Go to bed.”

“I wish. I still have to study the next case, I have a trial in two days.”

“The sooner you get it done, the sooner bed will be available to you.” Liv encouraged. “Also, you should have told me you had a lot of work, I would have gone home not to get in your way.”

“Oh, come on, Liv. You know you don’t get in the way. Besides, I like having you around.”

Olivia smiled and rested her forehead against Casey’s.

“I like being around, too.”

Casey opened her eyes to look at her, a soft happiness dwelling inside the crystalline spring of her stare. She had words right on the tip of her tongue but instead of letting them out, she leaned forward to kiss Olivia’s cheek, right under her right eye, lingering there for a moment.

Liv’s pulse was instantly thundering with her gesture - she knew exactly what Casey meant with it.

But she didn’t say anything when Casey broke the contact and straighten up, ready to face at least another hour or two of reading boring documents. Olivia watched her move to her living room, sit on the sofa and start taking off a ridiculous amount of paperwork from her briefcase, spreading them around in organized piles.

At first, Olivia was a bit confused when Casey would do that - simply leave her be, and just going to do her own thing. It took a while to realize the ADA just trusted her a lot, and felt so comfortable around Liv she wouldn’t “give instructions” the way you do with visits, like telling them to make themselves comfortable, or offering stuff. For Casey, that wasn’t necessary because for her, Olivia was already part of her life, of her home.

Not to mention that after having someone touching you in places you didn’t even know existed before would turn such formalities oddly unnecessary anyway.

She then heard it when Casey reached out for a controller on the coffee table and turned on the sound system on a classical music station - probably for some soft background noise to help her focus, and because the music was mostly instrumental, so she wouldn’t be distracted by lyrics. Probably not to kill Olivia with boredom, too.

The music made her instantly think of that night when everything had started. She thought of her miserable self a little more than three months before, and where she was now - how much everything had changed since then. She was brought back to the present when Florence landed on the little wall right next to her, slowly crouching on that way cats do when they are at ease.

“Seems it’s just you and me now, girl.” Liv whispered with a dash of humor.

She petted the cat a few times before joining Casey in the living room, taking her shoes off and spreading herself lazily on the other sofa. Of course, Florence came right behind her, seeing the perfect cuddle opportunity, since her human wouldn’t have time to pay attention to her. Olivia let her lay by her side and roll herself into a huge ball of fluff and orange stripes.

She looked up at Casey, who was frowning at her papers as she read them, taking notes with a pen on a notebook nearby, so immersed on her task she didn’t even notice Olivia’s look on her. Even without direct interactions, they loved to just hang out around each other, silently. The mere presence filling in the spaces between them like full sentences in a conversation, or the classical music playing softly in the background, or a kiss they would share.  
  
Olivia was used to being silent for hours on her own, and she could definitely tell the difference. Sometimes, it was the other way around when she was the one who had to burn the midnight oil at home, looking into gruesome pictures for unseen leads, or things that her and her team might have let slip between the small cracks on their attention, caused by stress and physical exhaustion.

It was good to have Casey nearby, and she would often just stay in for the night, making it even better for she would have someone to hold and be held in return after long hours of walking among criminals and seeing the devastation they left behind.

Casey’s presence comforted and reassured her that there were still some good things left outside her daily life of taking creeps out of the streets.

It wasn’t for another hour and a half or so that Olivia heard her gather the papers around and close the folders, piling them up neatly. She then just let herself fall on her side on the sofa with a tired groan.

“Victory.” she celebrated, but not sounding excited at all - just sleepy and as if the side of her face was being crushed against the soft surface. Olivia couldn’t contain the laugh, as she caressed Florence still laid next to her, deep in her sleep.

Casey turned her head up to look at them. Liv turned her eyes from Florence, when she saw Casey move from the corner of her eye, and she held her gaze on the ADA. She was looking tired but still lovely with her sleepy eyes and a small satisfaction smile on. It then turned into a mild, amused squint.

“What is it, Liv?”

“I love you.”

The relaxed, amused expression was taken by one that couldn’t be described other than _Red Alert!!_ , as her cheeks and tips of her ears followed precisely that color protocol.

“God, you are cute.”, Olivia laughed, saying that out loud for the first time ever, referring to her flush but also seeing Casey was once more out of words under a confession.

Casey got up and went towards her, moving a protesting Florence from the space next to Olivia to the space near Liv’s legs. She then took the cat’s place, the small of her back against Liv’s body.

She leaned against the detective laid down, looking at her with that same look she had given her before, but this time she let out the words that had been trapped behind her lips for a while now.

Olivia’s heart thundered with the same warm, soft happiness Casey had in her eyes with her reply as she caressed Olivia’s hair tenderly, playing with it between her fingers. She slipped her fingers down, touching the detective’s face, the classical music still playing in the background. Liv retributed the gentle touch, caressing Casey’s face.

The sunlight on Olivia’s skin reassured the detective of the path laid beyond from now, like ice melting under spring’s warmth.

She smiled at Casey.

Let it be flowers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was very experimental, as I wanted to explore more of this "introspective" style of writing (where characters ramble about their thoughts and feelings a lot, without much interaction per se). 
> 
> Casey's kitty-cat Florence is actually a reference to the same named cat that my "Hogwarts Mystery" character, Lizzie King, has: https://bit.ly/2UWFCkn . Which actually makes her a double reference, since I named Lizzie's cat after Florence Welch. 
> 
> And as you can see, I am a major music nerd, which was also part of this writing experience - I mostly listened to the complete "Bachianas Brasileiras" by Villa-Lobos as I wrote, also making a small ref to Ravel's "Bolero". A cookie for anyone who can spot it ;)
> 
> I hope you enjoyed the story as much as I did when I wrote it!


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